You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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