he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
