Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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