Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
