Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
a search helicopter?!
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
