On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
