belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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