420 ftw
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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