I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
