remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
