i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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