Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
