the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
