You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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