You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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