i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
