well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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