What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
