trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
