He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
