I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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