U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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