I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
