i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
