I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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