this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
