I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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