i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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