Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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