he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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