Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
A bitchslap is in order.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
