12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
