Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
