He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
