I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is wine microwaveable?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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