How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
