There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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