Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
