i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
