My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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