I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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