I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
