remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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