Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
