I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
