I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
