3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
