Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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