I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
