i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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