I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You can't special order awesome
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
